Mixed Signals – An Epic History of Leaks, Misfires, and the Fool in the Group Chat

In The New Yorker’s satirical gem “Mixed Signals,” writer Ian Frazier spins a time-traveling parody that pokes fun at communications gone hilariously wrong — from the fall of Troy to Pearl Harbor — all through the lens of a modern group chat catastrophe. Inspired by the real-life digital faux pas where journalist Jeffrey Goldberg was mistakenly added to a confidential government group thread, Frazier imagines that our history might be riddled with similarly bonehead missteps. With timeless characters like Odysseus, Alaric the Visigoth, and Japanese naval officers all plagued by their version of that one clueless guy in the group — often named “Hegseth” or something close — the piece underscores this: throughout history, there's always been That Guy messing up the plan via miscommunication, bad timing, or just trying too hard to fit in. As Odysseus shushes his crew inside the Trojan Horse, “If they hear us inside this thing, we’re screwed” — it’s a line that rings across centuries of strategic slip-ups.

Key Points:

• The article is a satirical response to the recent (and real) incident in which Jeffrey Goldberg, editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, was mistakenly added to a classified group chat among U.S. officials — described hyperbolically as an “unprecedented national security breach.”

• Author Ian Frazier hilariously imagines similar communication blunders throughout history in faux group chat format — from ancient Troy, to the sacking of Rome, to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.

• A recurring character, under names like Hegsethus, Hegsegoth, and Hegsethawa, plays the archetypal oaf who compromises security with comic ineptitude — a not-so-subtle nod to modern equivalents.

• The piece pokes at the timeless human flaw of misplaced confidence in digital (or analogous ancient) communication channels — like using signal flags in daylight during a surprise attack.

• Adds historical parody to modern events, drawing a subtle but humorous parallel between ancient and contemporary mishandling of critical information and operations.

• Confirmed accurate in that the real incident involving Goldberg did spark legitimate security concerns — and that history is full of bungled, sometimes comical communications.

No products or specific service recommendations are given here, except perhaps an implied suggestion: If you're going to leak top-secret info, maybe double-check who's in the chat first.
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