Are you really listening, or just waiting for your turn to talk? In this high-speed, distraction-filled world, listening well is harder than ever—but also more essential for meaningful relationships. In Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection, Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener and Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh highlight six common ways we unknowingly shut down conversations—like one-upping others' struggles, assuming we already know what they'll say, or treating discussions as problem-solving sessions rather than opportunities for connection. But don’t worry! The authors also offer six powerful techniques to transform your listening skills, including learning to pause, acknowledge, and ask better questions. Mastering these skills can help you foster stronger, more engaging conversations in both personal and professional settings.

Key Takeaways:

• Six signs you're a bad listener:

  • Comparing: You focus on your own similar experiences instead of truly hearing the speaker.
  • Competing: Turning conversations into a contest—"Oh, you have 200 unread emails? I have 1,000!"
  • Mind reading: Assuming you already know what someone is going to say.
  • Unsolicited advice: Jumping in with solutions instead of actually listening.
  • Priority status: Believing your expertise makes your opinion more important.
  • Time poverty: Being too impatient or distracted to fully engage.

• How to practice radical listening:

  • Noticing: Stay present and focus on what’s truly relevant.
  • Quieting: Use silence and manage your internal distractions.
  • Accepting: Be open to others’ perspectives without judgment.
  • Acknowledging: Recognize and appreciate the other person’s viewpoints.
  • Questioning: Ask thoughtful questions to deepen the conversation.
  • Interjecting: Show enthusiasm and engagement with active participation.

By shifting from reactive hearing to radical listening, you can improve your relationships, deepen conversations, and even become a more trusted leader. Want to dive deeper? Check out Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection by Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener & Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh, published by Berrett-Koehler.
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