In a recent Ethicist column, a reader grapples with the ethical implications of his porn consumption and whether or not he should disclose it to his wife. After nearly a decade together, the couple faces a mismatch in libido, leading the husband to engage in daily porn viewing as a coping mechanism. Although he believes that his use of amateur porn does not undermine his devotion to his wife, he acknowledges that she might view it as a form of disloyalty. The columnist suggests that the husband's behavior could be classified as a private matter rather than a secret, depending on its impact on their relationship. Ultimately, he advises that open discussions surrounding their different sex drives and boundaries regarding pornography could foster understanding and respect.

Key Points:

• The reader has been married for almost 10 years, facing differing libidos with his wife.
• He engages in regular pornography viewing, which he believes helps rather than harms their relationship.
• The ethical concerns of pornography, particularly regarding exploitation, are acknowledged by the reader.
• The columnist proposes that the husband’s porn consumption is a private matter, not inherently a deception.
• He advises open discussions about sexual needs and boundaries to enhance communication and understanding in the marriage.
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