Welcome back to One-Minute Humor. Today we’re diving into The New Yorker’s Shouts & Murmurs piece, “Everything Is LinkedIn Now.”

Imagine you open a birthday card that says, “Congratulations on turning 30—let’s leverage synergies.” That’s exactly the world the author paints: your coffee order now ends with, “I’d love to add you to my professional network,” and your breakup text reads, “I think it’s time to pivot.”

As the essay quips, “Even my grocery list said ‘Open to opportunities.’” We see wedding invitations boasting “ RSVP and endorsements welcome,” and condolence notes that vow to “circle back after processing this experience.”

By the end, you’re left marveling at how every interaction—no matter how trivial—has turned into a job pitch or a networking plea. It’s a hilarious reminder that we may be taking our professional personas a bit too far. Join us next time for more sharp satire in sixty seconds or less!
Link to Article